Life is This...

Tired.

The last few months have been rough for me.  I continue on daily with a "move on" attitude and some days are better than others... but lately the good days are far and few between.  I have become very good at hiding my true feelings - I have lived with a man who is pretty much a master at always appearing happy and hiding his true feelings - and I think I have adapted some of his ways.

Sadly I can not keep this up any more... I am just tired...

Tired of walking around anemic in both my B12 and my iron.

Tired of stepping on the scale and seeing the numbers only go up.

Tired of the doctor telling me it will take time.... I can't do this much longer

Tired of waking up lately and wondering if I will get through the day with out hiding in the bathroom crying.

Tired of family... nothing really ever changes. If only some people realized that inactions hurt way more sometimes than actions.  Words hurt even deeper. 

Tired of my all the hurtful things my mom feels she can say to me.

Tired of friends who really arent' true friends, more of just a convenience for them. True friends don't compete. True friends are happy for you.  True friends show concern.

Tired of Dan being hurt time and time and time again - yet saying nothing

Tired of never being thought of - being left out of everyday stuff... we were never incuded and I guess I am a fool to think things would EVER change.... even after they have changed so much.

Tired of lying in bed at night and being scarred stiff that something is going to happen to Dan

Tired of trying to pretend I have it all together because I don't

Tired of people judging us/me by our home, our clothes, our vacations... HEY everyone... guess what we HAVE FEELINGS!

Tired of trying to loose weight, be healthy and having it not work.

Tired of walking into my scraproom and having no motivation or ispiration... maybe it is time to give up this hobby.

Tired of feeling like this. Period. Just Tired.

 

More Layouts to share....

Hmmm... I know I know.... I still have some layouts to post... here are a few more to share.... 

This one definitely started out much differently... I based it on the colour challenge for Scrapbook and Cards Today (which reminds me I should submit it to the contest!) and I really had no idea where I was going with it - sometimes those layouts are the funnest to do!  I used my Studio Calico Kits for this - nothing like finally being able to scrap all of the products that you just want to hoard!

2012

I actually think my favourite product on this page were the awesome Cosmo Cricket Phrase Stickers... I loved the phrases and had to control myself which ones to use - they are my new favourite product!

This next one I loved when I finished it... but now I'm not to sure.  I think everyone thought I was a bit OCD how I only scrap on white.... so I went out of my comfort zone and used "PINK" ... GASP!!  I know shocking... LOL!  Still the same clean concept but just a different colour... but when I look at it something is missing for me... oh well.. in my album and on to the next one right...

I've had this photo for a number of years now - it was when I first got my iMac - playing around... yet I always kept this one - it spoke to me... and so I finally got around to scrapping it.

 

METAMORPHOSIS

For this layout I used pretty much exclusively Crate Paper Random Collection.  I "heart" this collection so much and it was the first time I got to play with it... and I really want to scrap more with it... I love every tiny thing about it! I also pulled out some of my old Ali Edwards stamps and that is what I used under the photo at the top.

Hope you all are having a great week.  Mine is full of doctors appointments and health issues... but we are getting through it... one day at a time.

Im hoping this weekend to sit down and get caught up and more organized on my project life... have some posts to show you on that soon... its on my to do list!

Have a great day everyone!

Lots of Love...

I am not sure what to make of the fact that all of my layouts produced this weekend had a reoccurring theme of Love &/or feelings of some sort... I guess it is an indication of my current mental state.

I have a quick one to show you today... I would love to just show them all to you know... but hey... in my mind I have 5 blog posts sitting right here in front of me... so I will spread them out... and give my blog some much needed love and attention at the same time.

This first one is just a quick one of Blake.  It is Simple... I wanted to journal some more on it, to share my feeling about him turning 17 (which is when the photo was taken a few weeks ago)  - but I think I will keep that for my Project Life insert.

I also used a sketch for this from Becky Higgins and it was one of the challenges at Crop and Create Markham... here was the sketch.

And here is my interpretation of it:  (oh and btw... I love using sketches when your stuck... it is just easy to not have to think about the design and just create... exactly what I wanted this weekend!)

Love You

I love these photo's of Blake... love that smile... and love that he really is a "good kid".  And now for some close ups...

 

Hope your having a great week so far....

Im off to work now... wanted to get this post up quickly as the rest of the week is pretty chaotic with doctors appointments with my mom all week and a funeral to attend to...

I will however try to get another layout up tonight... maybe Ill show you my favourite one!  LOL!! - Of course that is if I can sneak away from American Idol for a sec!

Have a great day!

Crop and Create Markham

Ahhhh.... how good do I feel right now....

Just home from a wonderful weekend with my scrapbook girls - Holly, Jenn, and Sue, re-aquainted myself with some wonderful women who make me laugh, met some new friends, taught someone how to sew LOL, and came home with sore stomach muscles from laughing so hard...!

Crop and Create - hosted by Scrapbook and Cards Today started Friday afternoon and I was all packed up and ready to go. If I can tell you a little secret - I almost called my friends and cancelled.  The inspiration part of the weekend could not be packed up, or purchased at the crop, and I was feeling a little worried that I'd forgotten the art of scrapbooking... or should I say I forgotten how to love scrapbooking again.

I was SO WRONG!  It was exactly what I needed.  I'm sure all you scrapbookers will agree with me - there is nothing quite like being surrounded with supplies, industry leaders, and some challenges to get the creative juices flowing again. I had my most productive crop EVER with a total of 5 - yes 5 layouts done (well one needs journalling..) I know some of you think this is pitifully - but for me it is just a joy... and the BEST part of it all is that I LOVE every layout I did!

Catherine and Leica did a wonderful job with the event.. the food was amazing, the prizes were great - and the after crop "gathering" was just the laughter I needed.  Meeting the ever so sweet Kelly Goree over the weekend and once again hanging with Vicki, Leica, Kelly, Catherine (SCT owner) and the rest of the gang was hilarious... a perfect ending to a perfect weekend.

As usual I did bring my camera along... and as usual I took few photos.  I did however snap a few shots...

 


The Crop Room (that chair there with the red camera bag is mine)

Shot @ 2 of the Hall - it was pretty quiet when the classes were running




The Challenge Winners (Hint, HInt ;)

My Workstation - always ever chaotic

My scrapping buds...its so great to be together again!
(Please excuse the tired/pale look I have going on here...
you now have proof first hand of my low iron, B12/always
feeling like crap life that I'm living currently... LOL!  but  as they say.. it is what it is!)

Hmmm... well now I should be showing you all of my work right... well I WANT to - but I need to photograph them, and that my friends is a job for tomorrow night.  I did however give you a sneak of a few.  One has to stay hidden for a little longer and another one needs some finishing touches... so patience my friends...

I have so much creativity running through my head right now I wish I wasn't so tired and could just stay up and scrapbook all night long!  It feels good to home from such a fun weekend!  I hope you had just as a fantastic one as I did?

Hugs,

Holiday Inspired Pinterest Ornaments

 

 

Yes I realize that the Holiays are over and Im a littel late on this... but if your interested please head on over to my new Blog where I will be discussing all things Organizing, Decorating and Entertaining to free up the clutter here.  

Please be kind when heading over to CARTWRIGHT AVENUE - it is new and I still have a lot of updating to do, links to set, posts to make. and general design work.... My goal is to have it complete by the end of the month.... but until then I thought you might like a peak!