Tired.

The last few months have been rough for me.  I continue on daily with a "move on" attitude and some days are better than others... but lately the good days are far and few between.  I have become very good at hiding my true feelings - I have lived with a man who is pretty much a master at always appearing happy and hiding his true feelings - and I think I have adapted some of his ways.

Sadly I can not keep this up any more... I am just tired...

Tired of walking around anemic in both my B12 and my iron.

Tired of stepping on the scale and seeing the numbers only go up.

Tired of the doctor telling me it will take time.... I can't do this much longer

Tired of waking up lately and wondering if I will get through the day with out hiding in the bathroom crying.

Tired of family... nothing really ever changes. If only some people realized that inactions hurt way more sometimes than actions.  Words hurt even deeper. 

Tired of my all the hurtful things my mom feels she can say to me.

Tired of friends who really arent' true friends, more of just a convenience for them. True friends don't compete. True friends are happy for you.  True friends show concern.

Tired of Dan being hurt time and time and time again - yet saying nothing

Tired of never being thought of - being left out of everyday stuff... we were never incuded and I guess I am a fool to think things would EVER change.... even after they have changed so much.

Tired of lying in bed at night and being scarred stiff that something is going to happen to Dan

Tired of trying to pretend I have it all together because I don't

Tired of people judging us/me by our home, our clothes, our vacations... HEY everyone... guess what we HAVE FEELINGS!

Tired of trying to loose weight, be healthy and having it not work.

Tired of walking into my scraproom and having no motivation or ispiration... maybe it is time to give up this hobby.

Tired of feeling like this. Period. Just Tired.

 

Comments

[Tania S.]

Hi Lori, I just stumbled upon your blog through a pin at Pinterest. I don't know you, but I can tell from the posts I've read here that you are a caring, artistic person. Sending you peaceful thoughts and hoping that things will be better for you soon, you certainly seem like someone who deserves to have lots of goodness in your life.

[Jen]

I give you a lot of credit for being "real". I hope you know you have friends here thru your blog who are inspired by you. Take time off if that's what you need, but maybe you shouldn't make any major decisions while you are feeling down. If you aren't finding joy in the things you are supposed to find joy in such as family/friends try to find joy in the little things that we so many times overlook. I will keep you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers.

[Jodeen]

You are not alone. There are many people that feel the way you do. I do more days then I don't. Keep reaching out.

[emma]

Sorry you are feeling this way I hope things pick up for you soon. When life gets me down I try to take a few days to be completely selfish maybe that what you need? Some me time.

[Kate vickers]

Hi Lori, things haven't been so good for me lately either, so I feel your words. I could have wriitten part of your post myself, especially the part about friendships and family. I hope that things get better soon. Don't give up scrapping, you are so good at it! (((hugs to you)))

[April W]

I just wanted to add that I truly hope you find your motivation/inspiration to scrap again. You do absolutely gorgeous work and it would be a shame for you to not want to ever do it again. Maybe a layout about all of these feelings would help? Hugs coming your way...
- April

[April W]

I'm so very sorry that things are so hard for you and your family right now Lori. :( I'll be praying for you...
- April

[Tammy]

Just sending hugs and good thoughts!!